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This page is dedicated to the funny things our children say. At least the ones we remember to write down.
Cole was eating something really messy while he was wearing a shirt was that mostly white and he kept
yanking his bib off and getting really messy. The day before Bria had got mud all over her very light colored khakis.
I was getting a little frustrated.
Athena: (rhetorically or at least just to Austin): Why do I ever buy my kids clothes that are white?
Ariana: Because you forget that we are all pigs and can’t keep food and messes off of them.
Cole was asking me for something this morning and I could not understand him so I kept saying "what?" and he thought I was asking him to say "please" so he kept rubbing his tummy (sign for please) instead of repeating what I said. It was a lot more funny when it was happening.
Cole was sitting on the ground next to Bria with a barbie chair. He would break it and say
Cole: I break it
He would hand it to Bria to put back together. She would give it back to him fixed and then it would start over again. After about 10 times . . .
Bria: Mom, Cole keeps breaking this chair and I have to fix it.
BYU was getting beat really bad by TCU and I had stopped paying much attention to the game. I
was in and out of the room. Ariana comes running to me. . .
Ariana: Mom, BYU caught the ball isn't that exciting!
We had been talking to Bria about making sure to try to be nice to friends that may not being too
nice to her.
Bria: Four years olds are not nice to people that are being mean to them. Only people that
are being nice to them. But six years olds are nice to everyone. When I turn 6 I will be nice to everyone.
Ariana: But Bria you have to turn 5 first before you turn 6.
I had grabbed out a box for pumpkin dessert gems.
Athena: Austy, should we make this today?
Bria came running into the kitchen yelling, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!". She then climbed up on one of the counter stools and asked, "What is it?"
Ariana came into my bedroom on her birthday while I was in the bathroom getting ready. I said Happy Birthday
and. . . .
Ariana: Mom, I am 6 today, I think I feel different. Cole come here (she picks him up) Yeah, Mom, Cole
isn't so heavy for me to hold. I am stronger because I am 6 today.
Ariana was showing Bria some of the things that she had done at school today. Ariana had just explained something
to Bria that I didn't quite catch. . .
Ariana: Bria you are going to learn so many things from your big sister since she is in school.
Bria: OOOOhhh, Hurray!!!
Bria: Babies like all the food in your tummy mom. I hope it doesn't have a penis, boys have a penis.
Oh yuck, I hope it doesn't have a penis. I don't want two boy babies.
Ariana: Well Bria, we just don't know what kind of baby Heavenly Father is sending to us.
Bria came running from the bathroom without her panties or pants on.
Bria: Mommy, the toliet is the monster's mommy. And the monster's mommy doesn't like me
so I have to wash my hands in the kitchen. When the monster wants to go home
he just goes inside the toliet and flushes it.
Ariana: (in a very secretive voice) Bria, do you know how much everything in our backyard and our house costs? A million, a zillion and probably even more then that! Bria: OOOOOOhhh wow!!!!!!!!
Austin and I had just tucked the girls in and after I left Ariana told Austin that he looks big in the dark and that "Mommy looks like she is going to have a baby soon in the dark". Oh gee thanks, nothing's in there!!
Austin and I just remembered this and so it is way out of order, but sometime this fall Ariana was talking about how cool it would be to be homeless and live in a box! You know how much fun kids have with boxes.
Mom: Ariana how did you get that scab on your tummy?
Ariana: I wanted to get my clothes and I had an idea, but it was a dangerous idea. I kept on falling and the last time I fell and hurt myself.
Mom: Where was mom to help you?
Ariana: Not in my room, you weren't coming fast enough.
Mom: Oh, I'm sorry. I will come faster next time. Will you try not to think of dangerous ideas?
Ariana: I will try.
Bria: Mom I am going to the bathroom and I am going to lock the door so nobody can get it.
A little later I hear from the bathroom Bria trying to unlock the door, then pounding followed by
Bria: Help, let me out of here.
Mom: I thought you locked it so nobody can get in.
Bria: Oh
Bria was dancing in the family room to some music from Enchanted.
Mom: Bria that is some pretty dancing.
Bria: Mom, I am not just dancing, I am twirling
[In the car]
Ariana: Mom, I am a smart girl. Do you know why?
Mom: Why?
Ariana: Because I don't watch too much TV.
Mom: Yup, you are pretty smart.
[As soon as we get home]
Ariana: Mom, can I turn on the TV?
Mom: Why? I thought you said you were a smart girl because you didn't watch too much TV.
Ariana: No, that's wrong. I am smart, just because I am so smart. I can watch TV because I am already so smart.
Bria and Ariana were in the middle of cleaning up after coloring and Cole started to wake up. I thought that they had finished cleaning and asked them to go up and see their brother while I finished cleaning up in the kitchen.
Ariana turned looked at me and coughed. And Bria didn't want to go up there either.
A minute later she said yes and ran off to his room. As she left I realized they still needed to clean up the coloring books they had left all over. When I asked Bria to start cleaning them up she said that she was going to go check on her brother and ran off and said "How about you clean them up mom."
Tonight Bria volunteered to say the prayer. At one point she said, "bless the missionaries, the prophet aaaaand . . . the bishop!"
Ariana then chimed in and said, "with thy strength and thy Spirit". Bria then said "to have a nice drink."
And we (Athena and I) were trying sooo hard to not just bust out laughing right then and there. I then told her to ask to bless us with thy Spirit.
Bria then said, "Bless us with a nice Spirit", and then ended the prayer. We all said, "Amen" and then just let out the laughs that were building
up inside. Pretty dang funny.
I believe this was during a car ride to our Daddy-daughter date . . . Ariana just randomly added into our conversation, "Daddy, you're lucky you have such a smart girl. Every day I'm getting smarter and bigger and stronger. And every day someone has a birthday.
Could this be Cole's first funny? Maybe it won't be as funny typed up.
Cole has been opening the kitchen cupboards and exploring them a lot lately. This morning he found the salad
spinner and pulled it out. He was carrying it around and eventaully dropped it. When it dropped, the strainer
part came out. He picked it up and put it over his head and started chasing his sisters, yelling.
Ariana found Austin's shoes and slipped them on
Ariana: What kind of shoes are these?
Athena: They are jogging shoes. (After seeing that she was starting to run in them I added:) Unless they
are too big for you, and then they are tripping shoes.
Ariana: (Ariana proceeds to start running) They aren't tripping shoes for meeee-eeeeeee!
Yep, you guessed it. She tripped while she was saying 'me', and her drink went flying across the dinning room
and she got a nice bruise on her knee. It was hard for both Austin and I to keep a straight face for the first
few minutes, because it looked so funny, and the fall couldn't have been timed more perfectly, even in a Disney
Movie.
Bria: Mom, there's something in my nose, you get it out? (very calmly)
Athena: Let me see (then I looked.) I don't see anything.
Bria: Mom, there's a crayon in my nose, you get it out? (still very calm) I need a tissue. You get it
out please? ( she was sounding a little worried at this point)
So, I looked and sure enough, I see a little bit of a crayon. I tried to get her to blow it out, but that wouldn't
work. So I got the tweezers which she was super afraid of and wouldn't sit still, so I sit on her.
Meanwhile Cole is eating breakfast and wants more food, and Bria's yelling "get away from me mom" and
"just take me to the doctor!". Luckily,
there was enough tears that this big old tip of the crayon came out after trying for five minutes. That
thing was a whole lot bigger then the little bit that I could see. Nothing
like starting off your morning pinning down your screaming child to extract surprises from her nose!
Athena: So, what did we learn today? Do crayons belong in your nose?
Bria: No, silly. Only buggers!
Ariana and Bria had a couple friends over playing. They are a little older than they are, and they are always so nice. Bria had been in quite the mood all day, and this was the evening right before dinner.
Bria: Mooooooom, Becca's being nice to me. (in a tattling voice)
Athena: Bria, that's ok.
Bria: No, I don't want her to be nice to me.
Athena: (Trying to clarify, maybe she meant "isn't"-which I doubt) What did she do to you?
Bria: Nothing, she's just being nice to me. Humph. (Then she folded her arms and frowned)
We were all outside and Ariana was riding her bike on the sports court really close to where Austin needs to
put up the other baskteball standard. We already have one up.
Athena: Ariana be careful not to fall in the hole.
Ariana: What is the hole for?
Athena: It is for Daddy to put his basketball poll up.
Ariana: Oh, he has two?
Athena: Yes.
Ariana: Oh, that is so if he has more friends that come to play they can all play.
Athena: Yes
Ariana: But he only got two, because Daddy doesn't have that many friends.
Ariana and Bria will sometimes run up to Cole's bedroom when they hear him wake up on the monitor. I listen
while I finish up whatever I am doing before heading up.
Ariana: (belting out in her "best" singing voice) You are the cutest baby of all!!
Bria: (Repeats what Ariana said or adds on other things)
Ariana continued to sing similar things with Bria singing back up. Then . . .
Ariana: You are the cutest baby of all!!
Bria: Yes I am! (also singing)
Ariana: (no singing) No, not you, Cole!
Bria: (not sad at all) Oh!
Overheard:
Ariana: Bria, let me read a story to you.
Once upon a time there was a boy who was evil, and he got killed;
but he never ever killed anybody.
He did bad stuff, and the super hero stopped him.
The dog was evil too.
But there was only one problem, they were all villians in the whole wide world
(sing song voice) the end.
Bria was that a good story?
Bria: YAY!!!
Explanation: Ariana was reading out of a real book called Heart Prints. It's a book about being nice to others.
It has people only being nice the whole book. I have no idea how she came up with that. Bria just loved the story too! LOL!
I asked Ariana to help put away the dishes.
Ariana: I want to be helpful, but I am just so tired.
Bria: Oh well, should we put you to bed early.
Ariana: No, actually, it's just that watching TV is my favorite thing, and I can't watch TV and do dishes.
FYI: I turned off the tv.
I left the girls downstairs finger painting while Cole took his morning nap and I took a shower. Bria came
upstairs yelling, sounding very panicked with only a diaper on, her face and tummy covered with water colors.
Bria: Mommy my belly button broken. (Just crying and crying about it.)
So I washed her tummy off.
Bria: (in the happiest little voice) Mommy you fixed my belly, thanks mommy. (repeated over and over again)
Ariana comes upstairs a few minutes after Bria was all cleaned up.
Ariana: Oh let me see Bria. Oh good, mommy fixed your belly button, it isn't broken anymore.
Apparently if you get paint in your belly button, it breaks it. LOL!
It's been a while since I updated this and I am sure that I have missed a ton.
Today, Bria had been teasing Ariana and after I made her stop and leave Ariana alone.
Ariana:
I don't know about Bria, she isn't what I am looking for in a little sister.
We don't know how little brothers turn out yet though.
Today in Ariana's homework packet was a list of things that they had learned about the past few weeks.
Her teacher encouraged parents to ask their children about the different subjects they had learned about.
This was really nice because sometimes Ariana doesn't have much to say about school.
This is one of those funnies that I felt a little bad laughing at.
Athena: Ariana, tell me about George Washington.
Ariana: He had woodteeth because he didn't have a toothbrush and toothpaste to brush his teeth.
(This may be true, but I have never heard of it before.)
Athena: Anything else?
Ariana: Nope.
Athena: Ok, tell me about Abraham Lincoln.
Ariana: He got shot in the head. (Ariana throws her head back and grabs her head) Ow, that's gotta hurt!
At this point Austin and I looked across the table at each other and burst out in laughs because of her reaction.
Just so we don't look bad, I did talk to her about what I great man Lincoln was and that it was a mean mad that shot him.
Bria and Ariana were playing in the Family Room while Austin and I were cleaning up after dinner.
Apparently, Bria hit Ariana.
Ariana: Bria don't hit me! I am your sister, remember?
I got my hair cut and it is shorter than it has ever been since I've been a mom.
Ariana liked it the first day, but a day later. . .
Ariana: Mom, I am not so sure about your haircut.
Athena: Really? Why is that?
Ariana: Because you don't look like mommy anymore.
Ariana just started telling Knock-knock jokes (not very good ones—she is only 4).
Bria has one that is kind of funny though. On the way to shop at Walmart that night . . .
Bria: Mommy? Knock-knock.
Athena: Who's there?
Bria: Apple.
Athena: Apple, who?
Bria: Banana.
Athena: Banana, who?
Bria: Milk.
Athena: Milk, who?
Bria: Candy.
Athena: Candy, who?
Bria: Knock-knock.
Athena: Who's there?
Bria: Apple.
Athena: Apple, who?
Bria: Banana.
Athena: Banana, who?
Bria: Milk.
Athena: Milk, who?
Bria: Candy.
Athena: Candy, who?
Bria: Knock-knock . . . (repeating the cycle over and over and over and over)
Ariana was eating breakfast with me (Austin). During her 3rd bowl of Corn Bran I said, "Ariana, you are eating so good this
morning."
Ariana: We're not eating good this morning. Is Bria eating good this morning?
Me: No, Bria's not eating.
Ariana: Then, we're not eating good this morning. . . . You're eating good this moning.
Me: Yes, I am.
Ariana: Mommy eats good, too. But there's one little member of our family who is not eating good this morning . . . Do you know
who that is?
Me: (laughing) Yes.
Ariana: Who is it, Daddy? Say it.
Me: (laughing) Bria.
Ariana: Yes, Bria is the member of our family not eating good this morning.
Another one:
I was getting Bria in her high chair, after I finally convinced her to eat breakfast. There was a little plastic block on the table
from last night that Bria was playing with. I picked it up and threw it quickly into the family room (hoping she wouldn't notice it
and start playing with it at the table again).
Ariana: DaaAAaad. Don't throw it! Not like I do.
Me: (laughing).
After Ariana fell and cut her head open, as a precaution the doctor wanted us to wake her up every few hours that night. I
explained it to Ariana before I put her to bed that night, so she would understand why I was waking her.
Me: Ariana, wake up.
Ariana: Mom, am I ok?
Me: I don't know, what do you think?
Ariana: Yes, I'm fine.
It made it hard for me to want to get up with her anymore that night after that comment. It was quite obvious that she
was just fine!
Bria was "looking" through some of my books this morning and found a decent amount of cash inside one.
Ariana found it on the ground and showed it to me. It was a newer colorized bill.
Me: Ariana did you find this money?
Ariana: No, Bria did. I think is is for us to go to the restaurant. (Still holding it and noticing it is green and other colors) Mom, I think Bria colored on it.
We were going on a walk and Bria had decided to push her dog in the stroller instead of being in the stroller.
She was going the wrong way.
Me: Bria, turn around.
Bria: Ok, Mommy. (She then started to turn round and round in circles with the stroller and began giggling hysterically.)
Ariana was making these funny fake coughing and clearing her throat kind of noises and then hurried off to the bathroom.
Me: Ariana, what is going on?
Ariana: (Fake coughs) I need to throw up.
Me: That sounds pretend.
Ariana: I know.
I guess she's been around my morning sickness too much!
I was all out of mac and cheese in a box, and the girls wanted some for lunch yesterday.
So, I made homemade mac and cheese. It isn't as orange as the stuff from the box.
They both ate it and said it was good. We had leftovers.
Mommy: Ariana would you like Mac and Cheese for lunch?
Ariana: Is it the good kind or the different kind?
Mommy: It is the kind you had yesterday, and you said you like it.
Ariana: Oh that is the different kind. It isn't good because it isn't Orange.
Austin and I had been in the side yard working and the girls had gotten their bikes out of the garage and were riding on them.
Sometimes Bria goes past our yard, which is against the rules, unless Mommy or Daddy is with them.
Bria started yelling, and I found her little car that she was riding on in the middle of the front yard upside down.
Ariana was on her bike and Bria was standing next to her.
Mommy: How did Bria's bike get there?
Ariana: I did. I had to keep saving Bria too much.
This is a pretty common conversation I will have with Bria:
Mommy: Bria please don't go in the street (or anything else to fill in the blank)
Bria: OK, Mommy. (Very innocently)
Then if, it is something she doesn't quite understand, she will do it anyway.
This conversation could happen again and again with the same results. And the same happy kind repsonse from Bria.
I (Austin) always brush the girls' teeth at the end of their bath. Ariana has a sore spot on the left side of her mouth
that hurts sometimes when I brush there. So, I got her to finally stay really, really still while I gently brushed. Because
I did such a good job, she smiled big then gave me a big kiss. She then said:
Ariana (while patting her hand over her heart): Daddy, my heart is beating! It's beating 'cause I love you!
(Not a "kid funny" really — just so cute I had to share.)
Austin's mom was visiting, and Ariana was trying to get straight what grandpa went with which grandma. Austin's dad is bald.
Ariana (after finally getting it): Oh, the grandpa with no hair?
Ariana: I ate breakfast so I could grow healthy and strong, but you're not growing anymore Daddy.
Daddy: I hope not.
Ariana: But Mommy, you are not done growing yet.
[Ariana came downstairs after bedtime, apparently her finger hurt.
Austin was watching basketball on the tv.]
Ariana: Daddy, I don't like basketball.
Daddy: Oh, that's nice.
Ariana: No, it's not nice.
Ariana: [Out of the blue while coming into our room to wake Austin up]
"Lions like birds, only the crunchy ones. They crunch and crunch and crunch.
But, I don't like birds. I like bananas."
Ariana: Catie, [Athena's sister] what you drinkin'?
Caitlin [drinking a can of slimfast]: A drink for fat people.
Ariana: You must be fat, huh.
Ariana: [While we are all driving in the car having a fun time] Mommy, I love you
Mommy: I love you Ariana.
Ariana: Why does Daddy yell at me all the time?
Ariana: Daddy say, "Guess what?"
Daddy: Guess what?
Ariana: What Daddy?
Daddy:[Laughs] I don't know, you told me to say it.
Ariana: Oh.
This is Ariana's version of asking for something for lunch.
Ariana: Mom, I want you to say, "Ariana, do you want some fries for lunch?"
Ariana: Bria get dooooooooooooooown! [While Bria is standing up in her high chair]
Mom: Ariana please be nice.
Ariana: I want to be mean like you mom.
Athena (Mom): Ok Ariana, it's time to start cleaning up.
Ariana: I am too busy watching TV to clean up.
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